Wednesday, March 5, 2008

God is still on the throne!!!

Dearest Friends and Loved Ones,
God Bless each and everyone of you. We love all of you so deeply. Never in my life did I ever think that I would be writing updates on my walk with the Lord thru cancer, but GOD is allowing my life to take that course.
I first want to thank each of you who are praying for me and my family. Never will we ever be able to express our gratefulness for your interceding on our behalf to the Lord. We in turn are praying for you and thanking God for your love towards us.

To give you the update on where we are right now...
On Monday we had an appt. with a Dr. Richard Cardosi in Lakeland. He is a part of H.Lee Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa at their Lakeland branch. My "cancer" is his area of expertise. I want to back tract one second here....our weekend of the 1, 2, and 3rd of March was one that I hope I never have to relive. On Friday, we were told that yes, I do indeed have cervical cancer. The type that I have can be invasive. (There are several types.) Anyway, when we left that doctors office with the appt. to see the specialist on Monday, needless to say, we were DEVASTATED. We tried as well as we could to have a "good" weekend...took the kids off on Saturday...
took our precious daughter Jess to breakfast on Sunday...she has been soooo incredibly strong thru this....and then went home to take a nap. Sleep had become my best friend since Friday afternoon...all I wanted to do was try to sleep...the emotional pain didn't hurt when I slept. Then when I would awake...reality would slap me across the face and this nightmare was not going away. Steve wanted me to
get up and go be with the kids before we headed for our church (it starts at 5:00pm).
I told him I couldn't get up...I'll go to church, but I just want to go to sleep. If you know my husband, you know that he would not allow me to do what I wanted. He saw what I was doing and he wasn't going to let me go down this "road". I "got up" and sat on the side of the bed and said..."look...it doesn't hurt when I sleep...please leave me alone." No, you are not going to do this...talk to me...what is going on? Well, I broke and started to cry which I really hadn't done. This is when I finally allowed the Lord to start his work. We cried and we talked and we prayed and we cried and we... you get the idea. After that, we got ready and headed to church.
Our church is a small homechurch which consists of 8 families. We are all very close. This "blow" to our family has also been a "blow" to our spiritual family as well. The service was pretty much dedicated to us...me...and what do we have ahead of us. Our precious men of the church all gathered around me and as my husband anointed me and prayed...they laid hands on Steve and I and each one of them cried out to the Lord on our behalf. It was precious to see the young children in our church down on the hands and knees praying for me. It is very humbling, too.
Anyway...we left church feeling renewed...went to bed Sunday night, and then HAD to wake up on Monday morning. Mornings are hard...the reality of what we are "being carried thru" comes upon me as I open my eyes. Anyway...we headed for our 1:00 pm appoointment...when we got to Lakeland, we had parked in the wrong parking lot. When we realized this, I told Steve and Jess, let's just walk...we can come back and get the car when we get done. When we got to the appt, the doctor had been called in for emergency surgery and would be about an hour late....no problem... The peace that Steve and I had going to this appt. was absolutely incredible. The two of us almost fell asleep as we were waiting. Finally they called us back. What a wonderful man. He shared with us what we are dealing with...nothing new to him...he does this all the time. He feels that we have found it in the early stages...Praise God..., but because of the type of cancer we are dealing with, he feels that we need to do a complete hysterectomy. It can hide itself in the ovaries and that would not be good. This is not my idea of fun. But, when it means a choice of life or death, you do what you need to do. God has also given us great peace in this surgery and in the doctor who is doing it. I was told as I was filling out the paperwork, that he is a VERY commited Christian man. I cried when I heard that...and the nurse said..." I knew you needed to hear that." boy, did I ever!!!!
As we were at the clinic for some bloodwork and other paperwork, the Lord sent several people our way who knew someone who had been thru the same thing. All of it was very encouraging. Now for the BEST part of this whole story....
As we were there at the clinic, our precious friends--Ben and Tina Pollock--came by to see how we were doing. After all was done and we could leave...I knew I needed to eat. I hadn't eaten much since Friday and I was starting to get weak. So we decided to got grab something. Ben and Tina had parked nice and close to the building and of course we had parked in the spot at the other building...remember??...Anyway...Ben offered to give us a ride over to the car. I really just wanted to walk...so Steve decided to ride with Ben to the restaurant and Tina and Jess and I were going to walk to our car and then meet them there. Off we go across the parking lot....talking as we walked...we got to the last row before we were at the lot we had parked in....there were VERY few cars this far out...anyway,
a tran had just dropped off a little old man...not too little...he was about 6'5"...
as he went to get into his car...he looked and our direction and then started to walk towards us...he started saying "ma'am...ma'am..." and all three of us looked his way...he was looking directly at me and said..."Ma'am...can I pray for you?...can my church pray for you?" I said "yes, you can...why are asking me this...
I was just diagnosed with cervical cancer and I would love your prayers." He said, I just want you to know that we will be praying for you...and don't worry...you are going to be okay. It's going to be okay." Needless to say...I began to cry. I felt like doubting Thomas who had to see the nail prints in Jesus's hands...this man was truly an angel sent to encourage me. God was wanting to give this doubting Thomas something to reflect on to remind me that I am going to be okay. OH>>>I just forgot one major thing....
Steve and I have been planning a trip for the last 5 months to take...just the two of us...our first ever...we were to leave on the 5th of March. While we were talking to the Doctor...I mentioned to him about this trip....for some reason we had not cancelled any of our reservations...and he looked and us and said...I probably won't be able to schedule you until the 25th of the month...when will you be back..I said the 17th...he said...."go...have fun and I'll see you on the 25th. You need to get away." WHAT???? Once again...this gave encouragement...you mean I have time to go off with my husband....I'm not going to die tomorrow????? He was serious and he wanted us to continue with our plans....I was shocked. Steve and I have been really looking forward to this...could I really go off and do this? Well, after the incredible amount of peace that we have been having, we both decided we can do this. Please do not think this was an easy decision. But the grace and peace of God has been with us so much, that I felt "why not....let's do it"... we are as I sit here writing ... in Cookeville, Tn with some long time friends of ours. We left first thing this morning and our day has been absolutely wonderful. We have talked and cried and talked and cried and talked and cried the whole way to TN from FL...but it has been soooo good. God has and is taking the two of us to such a deeper walk with Him. We know that many of you have interceded on our behalf to the Lord in prayer and we want you to know that God is working so emmensely in this situation...I can't tell you how good I feel....both physically and emotionally. I have not had any physical pain...there is none...only emtional during my down times. Please do not stop praying for us. Our journey is far from over. But God is still on the throne and He is the Lord and my life. I am his child and he is in control.
Do I have down times? yes. Am I scared? yes. do I want to reflect the peace of Christ thru this walk.....YES YES YES. God is not done with me yet. He is going to make something very beautiful of all of this...He already is.
Please make me a promise and after you read this... go love your children....go love your husband...and love those all around you who love you and love those that don't.
Share Christ with everyone you meet. Those who are not saved can never experience the kind of peace we are experiencing now. That peace is thanks to all of you who are praying for us. PLEASE DO NOT STOP PRAYING FOR US!!!! My surgery is sceduled for the 25th of March...not sure of the time yet...we'll let you know.
Steve and I will be gone on our "vacation" until the 17th. Our precious children are at home running things for us...please pray for them, too...they are strong, wonderful, beautiful children. We are SOOOO blessed for each one of them...
Jessica 24, Samuel 16, Rachel 15, Benjamin 13, Stacy 11, Zachary 9, Anna 7, Liberty
4, and beautiful Steve 2. I love each of you soooo much.
Please excuse my grammar and writing...this has taken alot out of me to write...and I don't feel like making corrections!!!!
I love all of you and we will do our best to keep you informed as to what the Lord is doing. Please keep praying!!!!
I love you!!!!
Christ's Servant,
Tracy

14 comments:

  1. Know that I am praying for you. Thank you for praying for my family during our trial. I promise that I will mention your name every day and night to the Lord God!
    El Shaddai: "Almighty God"
    Jehovah Rophe: "The one that heals"

    I will take your name to Him each night.
    Love The Douglass'

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  2. God's blessings on you, Dear Friends! He is so faithful to His own mighty plan for us that we cannot help but trust Him. We are continuing to pray for you -- may the Lord give you strength as you bear His image through all of this. Keep in touch as you can. We love you all.

    Dan and Bonnie Frodge

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  3. What a beautiful testimony to God's amazing power! "He giveth more grace when the burdens are greater.." We are praying fervently for your whole family, that God will do His perfect will and be glorified through all of this.

    The Miller family

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  4. TO GOD BE THE GLORY, GREAT THINGS HE HATH DONE!! He is so faithful and delights in showing us how much He truly loves us and He doesn't grow weary in doing so, just like all your confirmations and the precious "big" angel man he sent just because you needed it right then. I'm excited about your testimony!! And we will continue to lift you up before the Throne Room of Grace.

    We love you mucho,
    Tina and The Pollock Family

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  5. All our love and prayers. You know you're a very special friend to me!!!!
    Cristal

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  6. I know you will use your experiences to bring Glory to the Lord! Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are in our prayers. We serve a Mighty God who is able to do abundantly, exceedingly more than we think or ask!
    Love,
    Dana

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  7. Wow, How we miss you guys already. We serve a GREAT AND MIGHTY GOD. HE alone deserves all the glory and praise for the wonderful things He has done!!! Yes, He is Faithful and True and he hears our cries and bottles our tears. I love your dear precious family soooooo much. You have been a wonderful example to me and were there for me when I was facing a frightening road. Cast your care upon HIM! Have a great trip and don't worry about us slaving away back in Lakeland:)

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  8. What a beautiful story. Pain is hard but brings about such a precious jewel when embraced. Our prayers are with you. Keep fighting the fight. We love you!

    Jared & Katie

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  9. I was just reading a book entitled "The Wonderful Names of our Wonderful Lord". The name I just read was from the Song of Solomon 2:1 "I am the rose of Sharon, the Lily of the valleys"

    I began to ponder those names. The word "Sharon" means a plain. Christ is a beautiful fragrant rose in our lives and He is in full bloom when the sunshine is out and life is going well. His fragrance is refreshing and his beauty is delightful and inspiring. When life is going well, we have to remind ourselves to take time to smell the Rose of Sharon and behold His beauty. But then it also says that Christ is the Lily of the valleys. The word valley means "deep, profound". There are times in our lives when we find ourselves in the valley. This valley is deep and there are dark shadows. Very little light can reach the valley floor and we find it difficult to make decisions or understand what God is doing. David calls this place, "the valley of the shadow of death". It can be frightening. God doesn't seem to be in this place. Our initial response is to get out of the valley as quickly as possible so we can get back on the plain where there is sunlight. Yet, at these times of shadow, Christ is saying that there is a Lily to be found here. In fact, this Lily is only found in the valley. One has to seek for it because it is hidden in the shadows. When found, this Lily of the valley of the shadow of death gives off the most fragrant of perfumes. It is exquisite in it's delicate beauty especially contrasted to the dark surroundings. This is an opportunity to discover Christ in the valley. He is there waiting to be found by the special people He allows to go through the valley. Interacting with Christ during these times one understands what it means to have "fellowship in His sufferings". He has been there before, "He is a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief." When we say we want to follow Christ we sometimes forget that the path He walked was one through the valley of suffering. Draw nigh to Him like never before. Don't waste this precious opportunity. You will become more like Christ through this. And remember, you are walking THROUGH the valley. You won't be there for long. :-) Thanks for your incredible testimony.

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  10. Our fervent prayers are with you and the entire family. Your testimony was so edifying. Have a GREAT trip!! The Lord is in control of your life, you are in the palm of His hand -- no better place to be :)

    We love you!
    The Stricklens

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  11. I just want to verify Mr. N's testimony...This time has been...well, it's been hard remembering how to breathe some days:) But the spirit of peace has been amazing, the love shown has been outstanding...

    People that I would've thought could care less are coming over to hold our hands, pick us up, lead us in prayer and offer time,energy and support in the coming days!

    We feel the prayers, Don't stop....We know when you do:)

    The Lord is such an Awesome God! He is allowing me to once again see just how much my Mom means to me and to not take it for granted as I sometimes do. I forget to say I love you, your worth is FAR above rubies...You are amazing and so cool:P

    Don't forget those words to those you love......

    And don't let go of God in the hard times....Those are meant to be the sweetest times of your life, for those are the ones where it is you, your problem and Your God alone fixing it before your very eyes!!!! Be strong!:)

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  12. Hey, I left you a comment earlier.
    But I was thinking about something. You were very kind with your words of encouragement and prayer for our family over the last 10 months of heartache. I had no idea or even thought about what you were facing. I wanted to give you a poem that encouraged me and it explains you I think.

    Weeping In The Night

    I've been thinking about heaven, while going through a little hell
    I've been trying to lift up others, but not doing it very well.
    He who smiles and makes you laugh, sharing joy and happiness.
    May have the biggest heartache, and often weeps in loneliness.

    You may see him on the topside, as his spirit keeps you blessed.
    But hidden are the sorrows, numerous trials and serious tests.
    We see an athlete run a race, appearing like he never strains.
    And never know his hours of training, his sacrifice, nor his pain.

    We love to hear a musician play, a piece so flawlessly,
    But between recitals unknown to us, she practiced endlessly.
    To own a famous painting, surprised, the price that we must pay,
    Not considering all the ruined cloths, the painter threw away.

    We stand in awe at structures built, by some great architect
    Not giving thought to all the sandcastles, in his youth he wrecked.
    Her meals display her culinary art, yes, she can cook so well.
    Forgotten are those meals she burned, and all the cakes that fell.

    This preacher preaches hard and long, to rescue men from sin.
    Knowing the depths of degradation, the disgrace where once he'd been.
    He who knows and gives forgiveness first was guilty of transgression.
    He knows and found God's forgiveness for his own sin and indiscretions.

    Those who freely bless in public, touching lives along the way.
    Have learned that when in secret, there's a costly price to pay.
    Joy comes in the morning, that's God's promise and it's right.
    But always it's foreshadowed, by much weeping in the night.

    While others sleep your tears may flow, unseen, unfelt, unknown.
    But God caught them in his bottle, and in heaven they shall be shown.
    Tis hard to stand back silently, while an enemy scoffs and jeers.
    But one day up in glory you'll find, God knows, He sees, he hears.

    Not until you've felt the blow of cruel, and ugly words of hate.
    Can you here experience the victory, waiting inside heaven's gate.
    Only when you've been slandered, criticized, and openly crucified.
    Can you know the joy set before Christ when on the cross He died.

    So don't give up the battle, though the way seems rough and long,
    There comes a day, God's promised, when He'll make right every wrong.
    God's radiance shining through your tears, will take away the dread.
    Those tears will form the rainbow, 'round a crown upon your head.

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  13. Hi. You don't know me. I'm a friend of the DeVall's... I've "met" jess on facebook and xanga. Anyway, just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you. Thank you for your testimony of God's goodness even through so much pain.
    Blessings,
    Matt

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  14. I stumbled onto your blog looking at some other stuff and I am so glad I did. What a beautiful testimony! I just love your big angel man. God is awesome and shows Himself mighty.
    I appreciate your reminder to show more love. Heres a hug for you HUG and now im going to get off the computer and play with Matt.

    Praying for you
    and your beautiful
    family. Lots of LOVE

    Mary B

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